Ca me gene. Je ne sais pas - non - je ne veux pas dire pourquoi. Je sais la raison, it's more like I don't really want to acknowledge it. I'm avoiding it so maybe it won't be true.

You ever do that?

Y-a-t'il quelqu'un qui voudrais m'ecouter? This is me, candid, in this one line here.

Shiza. Merde merde merde.

Bring me back to Dreamtime.

Whirlwinds from the Sky

Brilliant sunshine surrounds me
as I am cozy in a blanket red

I wrote the first draft of my play, it's the first play I have written a) since high school, b) without direct involvement from the soothemysisters collective, c) which will be mounted outside of the Sears Drama Festival.

Moments of doubt always whirlwind around me. I have to find an 'inner push' to propel me to make a decision, take a stand, pick a side, and just work with it until it doesn't work with me any longer.

Dust has collected outside of the nooks and crannies of my room. Mid-exam, pre-winter hibernation, pre-CLUTCH Final Exhibit Madness, post-first draft of play CRAZE is me.

a death

2:08 am
What else is the world of Toronto doing beneath this slow snowstorm? Hmm, it's a bit dreamy. The glorious white makes most sparkly.

It's time to inspire myself, and watch as inspiration unfolds before my eyes. I need to SEE the world, SEE things, PAY ATTENTION. If I am only going through the motions, I need to stop and think about why I am doing that which I'm doing.

I've been far too reasonable and scared, too. I can't be like that forever, for the rest of my life. I will be open and unreasonable, willing because I am worthy of receiving.

Breathe in this new, cold, crisp air.

It is time for things that need burying to die. Of course I am being very figurative. But let the dead die, let the dead die with this winter, with this first snowfall. Now! Now! Let it happen now.

Dreamtime.

On se prepare.